How to Avoid a Personal Meltdown

"Even when not actively generating power, nuclear power reactors require cooling, typically provided by coolant flow, to remove decay heat.^[16] Pressurized water reactors use water flow at high pressure to remove waste heat. After an emergency shutdown (SCRAM), the core still generates a significant amount of residual heat, which is initially about seven percent of the total thermal output of the plant. If not removed by coolant systems, the heat could lead to core damage." (Wikipedia:  Chernobyl disaster)

What do you do when you have an anger that is as wide as the ocean and as deep as the deep blue sea, and yet you are a caring individual and a responsible citizen who does not want to see innocent people, including yourself, especially yourself, hurt by this anger?

In the case of a nuclear plant, you need lots of water to keep things cool, and that analogy works for human beings.


For me, the love of my family and friends is water.  A creative outlet is water.    Exercise is water.  Doing something nice for someone is water.  Meditation and prayer. Smiling and laughing.  Puppies and kittens.  Flowers and trees. Music. Rain... 


Children can be water, for some people, but not for me. Children remind me of February 6, 2009.  It was the last day I ever taught in a classroom.  Principal S _ _ _ _ _  T _ _ _ _ removed me from the classroom and sent me to the infamous Rubber Room.  I retired on November 17, 2010 without being charged with anything, but as soon as she found out that I had retired,  T _ _ _ _ sent me an e-mail telling me to come to school to pick up my charges. Of course, I didn't go.  I had waited twenty months for her stupid trumped-up charges.  As far as I was concerned she could stick them where the sun don't shine.   I had no desire to ever teach again--and still don't.  I don't even want to babysit.

Almost a year has passed since my retirement, and instead of feeling better about what happened to me under Bloomberg's Department of Education, I feel worse.  I've tried to move on, engineering a vast coolant system.  However, when I'm least expecting it--POW!!!--I'm back in the classroom hearing "You called her a slut!!!!"  Or....there are a a thousand bad moments, and I can't experience any good ones.  I know I had them as a teacher.   I remember them with my mind, but I don't feel them with my heart.

This blog has been a pretty effective part of my coolant system.    Up until now it's been a kind journal.  Now I'm going to start to write down memories from early in my career as well.    I'm trying to make sense of it all, and I admit I'm coming from a very negative place.  I'll make an effort to remember and write the positive memories even though, as I said, I'm not feeling them.

How Does It Feel To Lose Control, Bloomberg?

Top Of The Mornin' To Ya, Bloomberg,

How are you feeling after you lost control of New York City yesterday?  Not too good, I'll bet.  Are you harkening back to the good old days when you were able to pen up 1000 people during the Republican convention?

You know, I can relate, I really can.  On Friday, February 6, 2009 I lost control of class 705. My students started shouting at me, "You called her a slut!  You called her a whore!" referring to Madelene Benders, one of their classmates.  I was in shock, trying to understand where this was coming from and swearing to God that I had not and would not ever do such a thing.

Yesterday, the crowd that took over Times Square was chanting:

"We are the 99%!"
"Banks got bailed out,  we got sold out"
"The people, united, will never be defeated"

In my case, a couple of boys, a relatively small portion of the class, had been instigating all week long, repeating over and over that I had called Madelene a slut and that the class should band together to get me fired.  In your case, a very small portion of the people have been repeating this same message about the people, the banks, and the 99% for more than a hundred years.  Nothing really happens until the majority takes up the chant.  Then things change.

In my case, the boys were operating with the full knowledge, consent, and support of the Principal, S_ _ _ _ _   T_ _ _ _ and her henchman, assistant principal  R_ _  Z_ _ _ _.  In your case, the crowd is operating without the support of the power structure of this city--in fact they are operating in direct opposition. 

In my case, I lost the hearts and minds of my students--not all of them, but enough.  Now, you have lost the hearts and minds of New Yorkers.  Maybe not all,  but enough.

In my case, it was a very controlled insurrection.  The students were in essence doing the dirty work of the principal -- helping to get rid of an unwanted teacher.  The overall power structure of the DOE, beginning with you at the top and filtering right down through the Chancellor to the administrators of each school building was not threatened by my students' chants.  This was in essence, a "controlled burning".   For you, the burn has now gotten out of control, and the whole freaking forest is on fire.

In my case, the children were lying, and they knew it.  In your case the October 15 crowds who gathered all over the world in every major city are right, and they know it.


No, Bloomberg, it doesn't feel good to have a crowd rise up against you with anger and hatred.    Now you know how it feels. 

Thank you, God, for letting me see this day!

The Whole World Is Watching, Fool!

Why is it always the guys in the white shirts who punch women in the face in front of hundreds of cameras?  Is white the new brown?

Marching Down Broadway at 7:30 AM

Watch live streaming video from globalrevolution at livestream.com

I was in Zuccotti Park while this march was going on.  I had no idea that a group had taken off marching down Broadway until I heard all the police sirens.  I followed the sirens to see what all the excitement was about, but by the time I got to the bull, the crowd had dispersed.

I really like that they sang one of my favorite protest songs, "We're Not Gonna Take it".  Here it is for all those who wanted to make it down there today but couldn't.

Fist In The Sky

Yesterday I went to hear John Carlos speak at NYU.  He is a great speaker and teacher.  There are videos on youtube that can give you an idea of what he's like, but I'm glad I got to be there in person.  Here are the videos.





Tomorrow Bloomberg is going to try to clear Occupy Wallstreet out of Liberty Square at 7:00 AM.  I am going to be there with my camera when they come with their brooms and their batons.  I am not planning to get arrested, but I think it's important to be there.

Send out the call.  Tell everybody who can get there, to arrive before 7:00 AM.   Whose Street?  Our Street!!!!!

A Billion Here, A Billion There. What Do I Care?

Two perspectives (I suspect from different sides of the aisle) on the significance of a billion dollars.







Why is it that people who moan and groan about public spending never mention the billion dollar bombers?

Teachers and Parents Occupy Wall Street

Courtesy of Grassroots Education Movement.