1. You are an ANIMAL because you can't make sugar from water and air. (Kingdom Animalia)
2. You're a Chordate ANIMAL because you have a stiff, though flexible rod up your back.(Phylum Chordata)
3. You're a Vertebrate ANIMAL because the stiff rod in your back is made of lots of little bones called vertebrae. (Subphylum Vertebrata)
4. You're a Mammalian ANIMAL because you have breasts and/or nipples and a belly button. (Order Mammalia)
5. You are a Primate ANIMAL because you have a short snout, a large brain, and grasping little hands. (Class Primata)
6. You are a Hominid ANIMAL because you have a larger brain than other Primates, and you like to use your grasping little hands to groom your mate--among other things.(Family Hominidae)
7. You are a Human ANIMAL because you have a larger brain than other Hominids; your arms don't drag on the ground; you invent tools that save you time and energy and allow you to make lots of stuff--including fire. (Genus Homo)
8. You are a Sapient ANIMAL (Species Sapiens) because you have a Big Head that holds a Big Brain that has a BIG HUGE FRONTAL LOBE, that allows you to come up with all kinds of ideas about WHERE YOU COME FROM, WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE, AND WHERE YOU ARE GOING.
The classification scheme that I have used was made up back in the 1700's by Carl Linneaeus, a sapient ANIMAL, 99.99% like yourself.
According to that scheme I am an animal and you are an animal. All my students are animals. Supervisors, teachers, paras, secretaries, school aides, cafeteria workers, custodians. Mayor Bloomberg and his attorney Klein are animals. Doctors, lawyers, police officers, fire fighters. Homo sapiens all.
Some people don't like to be classified as animals. They think that humans are very different from animals because we were created in the image of God. I don't agree with them, but I don't have a problem with their beliefs. Our differences are just proof that the BIG HUGE FRONTAL LOBES of our species are hard at work trying to figure out WHERE DID WE COME FROM? WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? WHERE ARE WE GOING?